hate.

hate is a strong word. therefore, i am going to sprinkle it throughout this post with abandon.

i hate canker sores. especially ones at the way back of your mouth, that you can feel pretty much whenever you're moving your jaw at all, and thus it's throbby and uncomfortable pretty much all the time.

i hate the way my lips stay chapped - wicked chapped - regardless of how much water i drink or how much aquaphor i use. painful, splitting, aching, bleeding chapped.

i hate piles of old snow with a black coating of grime and city-ness on them.

i hate that instead of feeling happy for a co-worker who might be getting a promotion (to a position in which i have no interest), i feel frustrated that someone so markedly younger than me and with easily half the experience will be considered my equal if not technically my superior.

i hate that i also resent that she'll get a raise.

i hate that the money BoyCat and i bring in every month in DC only goes about two-thirds as far as it went in chicago.

i hate that i worry about that so much, and so often.

i hate that i had to wait 40 fucking minutes for a train after leaving work.

i hate that all of this means that i probably won't have the energy or focus to write a post on what earlier deemed a worthy and interesting topic of discussion: britney and her sinead o'rebellion, and how it's fascinating that after all the shenanigans and sloppy behavior she's engaged in, it's her stepping outside the bounds of typical feminine aesthetics that makes everyone truly concerned for her well-being. what's that all about, exactly?

except that i am too stress-ball-in-my-chest frustrated to think it through, at least right now. maybe after dinner and a good, strong drink.

oh, did i mention how i hate that there's still no wine in the house?

but for that one, i blame myself mostly.