a wee retrospective.

things that i have discovered (or re-discovered) during the month of may:

• the midwest is flat. no, like, really flat. flatter than a native new englander can instinctively comprehend.
• falling down drunk in a hotel hallway can be comedic gold. especially if you are drunk on magic wine that does not give you a hangover in the morning.
• i have an enormous capacity to misread a situation.
• big plastic bangle bracelets.
• my man looks really good in a tux.
• horse tracks have limited culinary options, and a distinct inability to accurately assess supply and demand needs for soft pretzel consumption.
• if i get my hands on a little bit of resentment, i often have a really hard time letting it go.
• what a tornado siren sounds like.
• crispy leeks and lemon-butter sauce over linguini.
• seeing someone walking barefoot on the vegas strip at 11:00 pm will kinda make me want to hurl.
• 100 calorie packs (while they are still, generally, the devil) make remarkable convenient airplane snacks.
• the little black dress still fits.
  
• free breakfast is good. hot free breakfast is even better.
• when i am off of anti-depressants, certain things can make me incredibly sad for no good reason. on the other hand, certain things can make me incredibly happy for no good reason. it is, in essence, a trade-off.
  
• the drivers of the BWI airport parking shuttles can be assholes. especially at 1:00 am.
• it is nearly impossible to find a $5, 3-2 blackjack table on the vegas strip after dark. or during the day, come to think of it.
• american gladiators.
• travel-induced exhaustion.

a (little) longer story.

i kept finding it hard to start this post, mainly because i didn't know where to start, period. but now that i'm here, i think it's best for me to just keep the story simple. because really, if i wanted, i could type until i pass out from hunger and exhaustion about my ongoing ambivalence regarding the institution of marriage and the role it plays in our lives. plus, you've heard me blah-blah about most of all that here already! so the main question is, i think, what pushed jason and i past the brink of indecision and into a mindset where we decided that marriage was something we wanted to do?

well, about six months ago, as i pondered the topic for some reason or another, i found myself viewing it from kind of a different angle. i remained (and remain, unsurprisingly!) very uncomfortable with the cultural institution and all its attendant stereotypes, hegemonies, paradigms, etc etc and so on. but as a legal matter, i realized that i wasn't against marriage so much in principle as i was troubled by how tied up the legal side of marriage is with the cultural side. i realized that i would never begrudge anyone the ability to petition the government to recognize their relationship with another person as primary (in fact, i wish there were far fewer restrictions on who is allowed to make that request). i started seeing civil marriage as a service the government provides for you - like a birth certificate, or a social security card - that offers you certain protections. and i'm actually all for that! (except in the sense that all societal institutions, government or no, are generally corrosive things built and dependent on systems of domination and oppression buuuuuuut anyway that's another story. and a far more depressing and intractable one.) so once jason and i started talking about it in that light, it just made sense to take that step and get that legal recognition for ourselves. we certainly didn't want a wedding per se, and vegas is the perfect place to do a marriage with no fuss, no muss, and no waiting. plus, vegas is fun! there are free cocktails! and up until that point, jason and i had only ever taken one vacation that was just the two of us, and that was an overnight in iowa - it seemed high time for a more substantial getaway.

so there you have it - desire for legal recognition plus desire for a true twosome vacation equals eloping to vegas. we wanted to "make it legal." and we have. and we're happy.

the end. (again. for now.)

memetime.

i know i know i know. i promised more details on the whole eloping to vegas thing. and i will deliver them, i swear. but for now, there are only memes. because toast tagged me. so yes, blame him!

anyway. without further ado. meme-aliciousness.

1) Ten years ago I was...

living in my hometown in massachusetts, and just a few weeks away from graduating high school. putting the finishing touches on planning the prom (yes dudes i planned our senior prom, just one more thing you probably wouldn't have suspected about moi.) wearing jeans and henleys a lot. listening to fiona apple's "tidal" to help me fall asleep at night. signing yearbooks. writing poems. watching this ridiculous new show called dawson's creek. musing. complaining. deliberating. hoping. kicking the stalls for college to start.

2) Five things on today's to-do list:

1. go to the gym.
2. go to our friends' yard sale.
3. drink cheap beer at a penn ave bar.
4. pick up a package at the post office.
5. deposit two checks at the bank.

3) Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:

1. invest.
2. start up and run a foundation to fund programs that help women.
3. set up my family for life.
4. real estate! get a place in boston, nyc, the dominican republic, and dublin.
5. send jason into orbit as a space tourist.
   

4) Three bad habits:

1. a judgmental mindset.
2. frugality that can border on, um, cheapness.
3. a deep-seated weakness for salty food.

5) Five places I've lived:

1. my hometown.
2. amherst, ma.
3. boston, ma.
4. chicago, il.
5. washington, dc.

6) Six jobs I've had in my life:

1. GAP worker.
2. landscaper.
3. campus mailroom staff.
4. development associate.
5. grants and communications coordinator.
6. manager of foundation relations.

a short story.

so hey, get this.

jason and i eloped to vegas this weekend.

more later, most definitely, when my body clock is no longer spinning backwards and i can string a few coherent sentences together.

vegas is fun.

the end.