if "feminine issues" trouble you on some fundamental level, i would avoid this post.* because while i'm not going to overly TMI you, if i don't vent about this right now i'm not sure what i will do. probably take out my frustration on some unassuming piece of small furniture or kitchenware. and that wouldn't be fair to those household goods, which have done nothing but be utilitarian. (and not in the philosophical sense.)
ANYWAY. i am rambling, i think, because i don't have enough blood to my brain. i'm lacking such stuff of life because my reproductive system has apparently commissioned all the blood in my body, and is currently expelling it. people, i have been bleeding for a month.
the background: you know, i'm on the seasonale. before this month, i would've sung the praises of seasonale to anyone who would listen. i loved seasonale. i worshipped seasonale. four periods a year, how great is that?? i recently read other women complaining about breakthrough bleeding on seasonale, and i thought, "well, lucky me, i've never once had a problem with that in the last two years!"
apparently, karma took that as its cue to slap me upside the head and kick me in the shins. and by "shins" i mean "uterus."
as an unfortunate health care system by-product, i had to take a month off of seasonale back in december, because i was switching over from my old job's health plan to my new one, which of course didn't kick in for 30 days after i started. which was over a week after i was supposed to have started a new pack of pills. so after some consultations with people who know about this shit, they said "yeah, just take the full month off, then start the new pack after your period is over." cool. (and just fyi, i don't doubt that this was the right thing to do. i just never considered that the issue that arise for women just starting seasonale could rear their ugly heads for me now, too.)
so, the first two months of my new pack passed in relative equilibrium. then, at the beginning of my third month, i realized that one night i had forgotten to take my pill. oops - it happens. i just take two in one day, and it's fine. except this time, apparently, it wasn't fine, and my body took the one day off of its regular hormone regimen to break the uterine lining dam. and i have been bleeding, in intensities ranging from breakthrough to full-on period, for a month. a month!!! i have had two full strength periods in 28 days, and have also been bleeding enough to be a slave to the tampax box for the other 14 days.
last night, i took my last placebo pill. i am desperately hoping that the next round of hormones can regulate this menstruation free for all. because this has got. to. stop. i've had a low-level, recurring headache for the last two weeks, and GI system is not thrilled with the situation either. and if this lasts much longer, i don't think i'll have enough energy to like, stand upright.
(and yes, i'm taking my multivitamins. but are there any iron-rich vegetables that i should be eating? gypsy spells i should be incanting? proverbial rain-dances i should be doing? come to think of it, i should've asked you all for some good woman-related advice here much earlier - i blame the lack of blood to my brain, um, or something...)
*by the way, if this is the case, i highly recommend getting over it. the whole "fear and disgust" thing when it comes to women and menstruation is a tired routine. we're women, we bleed, deal with it.