a snippet for thought:
Often what happens in black America is a sign of what the rest of America can eventually expect...In 1960, 67 percent of black families were headed by a husband and wife, compared to 90.9 percent for whites. By 2000, the figure for white families had dropped to 79.8 percent. Births to unwed white mothers were 22.5 percent in 2001, compared to 2.3 percent in 1960. So my student who thought marriage is for white people may have to rethink that in the future.
and another, which particularly struck me:
...if marriage is to flourish -- in black or white America -- it will have to offer an individual woman something more than a business alliance, a panacea for what ails the community, or an incubator for rearing children.
i think there might be 17 different debates to be had in that last quote alone.
2 comments:
You know, the problems with the fundamental concept with what we think of as traditional marriage are so ingrained in our Western society that I don't think that any amount of feminist theorizing is necessarily going to change it. Marriage has got a lot of inequality built into it, in terms of women shouldering a lot of the daily, annoying burdens of domestic life, but so far all we really do is talk about it and not really do anything to change it.
Intellectually, I'm an opinionated feminist. But I wind up doing about 75% of the housework at home? Why? Well, because my husband isn't all that much of a self-starter in that regard, and the bathtub must *eventually* be scrubbed. But there's also a part of me that wants to take charge of that aspect of our lives, wants to be control freaky about it, and doesn't necessarily want my husband to get all involved in it. (I'm happiest cleaning when he's not around.) Not like I particularly enjoy doing those sorts of chores or that I don't have more interesting ways to occupy my time, but I think that something is kind of hard-wired there.
Another example...I consider myself to be a well-read, educated individual. Yet, in person, I am nonconfrontational to the point of pathology. That could just be me, but that could also be an effect of having been socialized to be more agreeable.
I am a feminist, yet there are so many ways that I live up to all the stereotypes (I can barely change a lightbulb, for example). I think it's going to take about 100 years of identifying these patterns to *maybe* change anything.
karen, your point traditional marriage being ingrained in western culture is one i've been thinking about a lot. i think that the question is, if this is really the case, how do you change it? you point out that you don't think feminist theorizing will do it - i agree. any successful change always comes about as a combination of understanding theory and understanding practice.
in other words, how do we talk about changing marriage for the better AND take action to change marriage for the better?
i will have more on this, as it's been swirling around in my brain!
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