Thursday, March 02, 2006

little known fact: a wedding band provides you with improved breaking time and better peripheral vision.

so i called our insurance guy at allstate the other day about, well, an insurance-related matter. we actually only have renter’s insurance through allstate, and i wanted to see if we switched our car insurance over there too if we could end up paying less.

our insurance guy, michael, is very nice. he asked me a few basic questions – my and BoyCat's ages, what car we drove, how many miles we put on it, whether we had any recent accident claims or moving violations. after getting my name, and noting that it was different than BoyCat’s name (the renter’s insurance is under him), he asked if we were married. i said “no.” a few minutes later, he said again, “so you’re not married?” again, i said “no.”

he spent a few minutes crunching the numbers, and then let me know what the rough estimate would be on our monthly payments (unfortunately, still about 20 bucks more than we pay now). i told him that we were paying less than that now, but i was hoping since we had both turned 25 since getting our last policy, that it might have ended up lower. he said, “yeah, well turning 25 did help. your next big dip, though, will come with marriage.”

*arches eyebrow*

i said, “really? the only real way for us to get our insurance cost down is to get married?” he said, “yup.” i said (trying to keep my voice from resembling a screeching howler monkey), “that’s ridiculous! i mean, having a marriage certificate doesn’t make me a better driver! i’m a good driver now, i don’t need a wedding ring to prove it!” he understood my pain, of course, but pointed out that statistics show (lies, damned lies, and statistics!) that married people are safer drivers than single people, so there you have it.

i’m not going to sit here and argue with statistics. i’m sure they do bear out that assertion, and that there’s a whole fucked-up psychology behind it that goes something like “oh man, i’m married [and thus probably have kids, or will be having kids] now, so suddenly my life is valuable and i don’t want to lose it doing 95 mph on the Dan Ryan and wrapping my car around a concrete barrier.” but hey, that’s not me! i value my life right now, actually! and i am a good driver, i brake slowly (sometimes), i don’t cause accidents and i don’t get speeding tickets. why should i be penalized for everyone else’s messed-up psyches??

sometimes being held under the thumb of The Man really chafes. especially when the pressure reaches my wallet.

5 comments:

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dorothy rothschild said...

If it's any consolation, married people without children apparently get royally dicked on their taxes.

What I hear anyway.

I guess I'll be findin' out for sure next year.

east side girl said...

That's crazy. I hadn't heard that. I did hear on NPR that certain insurance companies have targeted architects as "at risk" drivers. Or maybe it was "safe drivers."

Craziness.

Jared Goralnick said...

Well then I'd better not get married...it sounds like I wouldn't have fun on the road anymore.

kate.d. said...

yeah, dot, i'm going to have to look into that married-with-no-kids tax situation for the future. i feel like i get so many mixed messages! from the gay marriage front, you hear about all the legal and societal benefits that married couples are afforded...i always assumed they got the edge on taxes too. but i have heard talk to the contrary, like you're noting.

but hell, i'm exhausted enough by my own single person taxes, so who am i kidding - there's probably no way i'm going to go researching a hypothetical tax return!