Wednesday, February 22, 2006

wedding shows.

i know one would assume from the critical tone of my previous posts about all things marriage, that my posting about wedding shows would certainly only be in order to condemn the voyeuristic, capitalistic, materialistic shallowness of it all. but, as SisterCat so eloquently put it to an amherst bouncer years ago, "you don't know me."

because seriously, i love wedding shows. love 'em. really, are wedding shows not the most enjoyable form of guilty pleasure tv viewing? wait, don't answer that. but sometimes, i just seriously can't tear myself away from this stuff. wedding story on tlc? check. bridezillas on WE? check. real weddings from the knot? oh, you better believe that's a check. those ones are my favorite, because you're never quite sure what you're going to get. it could be a perfectly nice couple having a perfectly nice wedding, or it could be a crazy sorority sister has-been and her over-hairgelled fiancee, arguing with each other about his bachelor party, crying over the hem of a dress, and bitching about how the center pieces were not supposed to be that high!

and the weddings themselves! hoo, boy, don't they just offer a great opportunity to see event trainwrecks in action. so many opportunities to be petty and judgemental! tonight, for example, i caught the last ten minutes of a bridezillas episode, and it was the reception following the ceremony. the husband was giving his new wife a "toast," and i put that term in quotation marks because i'm not sure if it was a toast that aspired to be spoken word poetry, or a really slow jam, or what. he had the mic, and was saying things like "baby, you know i love you. i. love. you. and this is for real. you are my wife. and i love you." all this, over a soundtrack of some Pure Moods-slash-porn music playing in the background. she's getting all teary-eyed, dabbing her eyes with a hankerchief, while i'm sitting on the couch going "what...what is happening? what is going on?"

this, folks, is entertainment.

so, regardless of my healthy distrust for the institution of marriage, i will never give up my wedding shows. you might think that at some point, i'd have enough of the histrionics and the unflattering bridesmaids dresses and the crazy parents, but you'd be wrong.

6 comments:

Jared Goralnick said...

You just wait, one day that'll be you giving the made-for-bad-tv post. We won't be fooled by your Joycean or feminist references either; nope, we'll all be enjoying it for just what is--entertainment from the girl who never thought it possible.

kate.d. said...

jared - i would rather die than allow my potential wedding to be filmed for television.

so the viewing audience for my bad toasts will be infinitely smaller.

BigBuddhaPuppy said...

I have a healthy distrust of people...since they are involved in all forms of institutions, I look at all things skeptical...but I do see goodness in some individuals...

Jared Goralnick said...

d'oh, I meant toast not post. And to bigbuddhapuppy, would you trust someone who has a dog as their profile picture?

DancingFish said...

I totally saw the woman cry about the hem on her PINK not-wedding dress but just RECEPTION DRESS. Good or horribly bad, people never cease to amaze.

Unsane said...

weird-ass freaks -- marriers!